Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Love my mama... and thoughts on being pregnant with Baby #5

You probably thought this post was about me and John Michael. 
Well, it is... sort of...


I was reflecting on motherhood and how my mom has shaped who I am as a woman and as a mother. 
My mom taught me the value of hard work, of being present and listening (she wasn't distracted by cell phones or computers) and how to keep a home warm and cozy.  She was always there for me and my "little" brother while we were growing up (she still is by phone) and quit working when she became pregnant with me.  Her lifelong example of being a stay at home mother and homemaker inspired me to follow in her footsteps, even when there were many times I thought I should be working since I'd sweated my way through college and earned my bachelor's degree in applied mathematics.  Being present and available to my children while they are young and growing allows me to teach them valuable lessons in life and to share our faith with them on a daily basis.  And while it's not always easy, it's certainly very rewarding. 

Looking back, there was a time when I was in college that I remember proclaiming that, "I never want to have children."  Perhaps volunteering in Sunday School classes frightened me to believe I could never be a good mother.  For one thing, I wasn't patient and a mother needs to be as patient as a saint, right?

After college, when Doug and I were married, I envisioned us having two children... a girl and then a boy.  Never even considering having more than two.  One for each arm, I thought.

Fast forward to being pregnant with Crumley Baby #5. 

It has been a slow and gradual learning curve.  For me, I found that having a third child was far more difficult than having two.  By the time John Michael came around, however, and in spite of having Down syndrome, I'd become quite comfortable in my role as a mother and felt like 4 wasn't any more difficult than 3, except for the shuffling of after school activities.  That's when we learned we had many willing friends to help out here and there.  We also learned that, while having 4 children was an anomaly in modern society, the younger siblings were a huge blessing to the older children and taught them a few lessons on patience, sharing, love and compassion.  The older ones were natural teachers to the younger ones and I'm amazed at how much Greta and John Michael learn from Nic and Anna just in their natural roles as siblings.

This baby will have a big job ahead... to push John Michael and help him continue to move ahead.  This baby will be born into a family with a sibling who has an intellectual disability.  This child, I pray, will be healthy, although I'm not afraid to have another child with Down syndrome.  I know just by its very birth order, this baby will likely be very loving and compassionate and accepting just because John Michael is her or his older brother.  I'm excited to watch John Michael develop into that role as well.


Looking back... there's no doubt my mom loved her mother... my Oma Else from Germany.  My Oma had seven children, my mom being the eldest.  Times were very difficult in the late 1930's in Germany, as you can imagine, but the love and respect my mom had for her mother always showed.  We also loved when she would come to visit us for many weeks.


I know John Michael loves me. 
While he can't say the words, he shows me daily with his big slurpy kisses, warm hugs accompanied by pats on the back and his LOVE sign.


But this family is more than just about John Michael. 

The love that my kids show me is more than I could've ever imagined.  Nic tells me daily that he loves me and at age 12, that might not be "cool" anymore, but I'll take it as long as he'll give it.  Anna is sweet and sensitive, kind and caring and shows me she loves me with her little love notes she leaves me around the house.  Greta doesn't make me guess... she hugs my legs and tells me I'm the best mom in the whole world.  And she delights in announcing to the world that, "My mom is going to have a newborn baby."



All of this is made possible because I have a loving husband who cares for me and encourages me and lifts me up on my worst days when my waistline is making me mad or the kids are driving me insane and best of all, he prays for me daily.  I can't imagine a better dad to our kids.  It's going to be a little crazy around here once the baby is born in early June, but eventually things will roll smoothly and we'll be smiling and laughing more than whining about what we don't have.

Stay tuned... our ultrasound is only 5 days away...  is it a brother or sister?

24 comments:

  1. Congratulations! Very exciting news :)

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  2. Congratulations!!! I always love hearing the news of a new baby. Now that I know we are not adding anymore to our family it makes me a little baby hungry too.

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  3. Beautiful post! Wow! I am soooo excited for you and your family! Can't wait to hear!

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  4. What a beautiful post. I am so excited to be able to follow you in your pregnancy.
    Waiting for the ultrasound results!!

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  5. I love the pictures, and the legacy of great motherhood that is so strong within your family. Your children are truly blessed to have you as their mom for no other reason than you appreciate the miracle that each of them is.

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  6. Wonderful to hear of all the generations of love! The more the merrier!

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  7. That was sooo sweet! Congratulations!!...and I can't wait to hear either! So exciting!

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  8. Oh Monica, I loved this post! I can't wait to meet your new little one! What a lucky kiddo to have such a great family.

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  9. So beautiful! You've been blessed with such beautiful children and they are going to be so wonderful with this new addition! Can't wait to find out!

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  10. love your post and can't wait to find out more in 5 days!

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  11. love, love this sweet, sweet post. you are so blessed with your beautiful family. cant wait to hear if you are having a boy or girl

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  12. This is very exciting, Monica!! The pics are beautiful - motherhood is a beautiful thing.

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  13. Congratulations, that is so exciting. I debate back and forth on whether to have another one. Sometimes I think I am to old, I will be 40 this year. Plus I am the most impatient person out there. I am so excited for you though, I can't wait to hear if it's a boy or a girl.

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  14. wonderful post! can't wait to hear the news about a baby boy or a baby girl :) so fun!

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  15. beautiful post! I'm guessing boy :)

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  16. I loved reading this, Monica. And for some reason I thought the ultrasound was on the 20th, so I'm SUPER antsy :)

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  17. Awww. That was beautiful Monica. How very blessed you are to have such a wonderful, loving, supportive and appreciative family!!

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  18. THREE more days!! I am so thrilled for your family!!

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  19. i don't think i've even said congratulations on the upcoming baby yet. somewhere along the lines i missed the annoucement. that and the past few weeks i haven't been online too much. i am so excited for all of you and can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl.

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  20. Congratulations, Granny called to tell us everything is ok. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

    Love, Maud

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  21. Monica,

    I'm so excited and thrilled for you and your family. Congratulations.

    This post was very encouraging to me. I believe in everything you said about being a homemaker and a lover of children.

    Thank you, Monica!!!

    God bless and please keep us posted.

    Jasmine
    Windmills and Tulips

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  22. My name is Jeannie. Thank you so much for your post. I have four children, and my youngest, Porter, has Down Syndrome. Before he was born (before we knew about the DS) we felt like there was going to be one more baby. After he was born, I have not been quite as sure. There are days that are yes, and days that are no. I cried as I read your post. Thank you for your inspirational words. I hope you don't mind me intruding on your blog, but I was very touched and wanted to tell you. My blog is private, but I'd be happy to share it with you if you'd like to get to know us a bit. just email me at jeannie_easton@yahoo.com

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  23. I have been thinking about you and could not remember the name of your website-so thankful I found your comment!

    Congratulations on your very blessed news. And what a sweetheart of a family you have - love your pictures :) I am looking forward to catching up on what has been going and see how John Michael is doing. Gosh, he is getting SO BIG!

    Waiting anxiously for your news.

    Sari

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