40 years of preparation...

It's been 9 months and 50 posts since I began blogging and boldly proclaimed "My Purpose" for the world to see.

Looking back, I wasn't sure if the blogging bug would catch on, but I just kept posting. Receiving encouraging comments has been a huge motivator for me to keep writing and I'm grateful to everyone who has read my blog and commented.

I'm one of those people who starts many hobbies and projects, only to find them lying in boxes or baskets in various stages of completion. I've always wanted to be good at something, so I tried decorative painting, beading, knitting and crocheting, and scrapbooking. My interest would stay for a few weeks, I'd buy all the supplies, but then lose interest.

When it comes to writing, I compose entire essays in my head while driving, cleaning the kitchen, watering the garden, or changing a diaper. But by the time I sit to write, often after the kids are in bed, my "Four Kids, Sleep-Deprived and Over 40 Memory Deficit Syndrome" kicks in and I forget what I've composed. Blogging allows me to quickly type and edit my thoughts. Hitting the "Publish Post" button gives me the sense of accomplishment that I don't get from other hobbies.

I was at a dinner party last weekend and saw my friend who'd asked me 9 months earlier if I knew my purpose in life. I'd just been reflecting on that earlier in the day. I told her that I found it ironic that God had prepared me for 40 years (a significant number!) before giving John Michael to me and revealing my purpose in life. Not everyone has to wait 40 years to know their purpose in life, but God in His wisdom, knew I needed time to get to where I am today to be the best mother to John Michael and my other children that I can.

Thanks for reading and sharing in our journey.

Looking Forward to a Great New Year!

Happy New Year!
2008 was a great year for our immediate family as we watched our sweet little infant grow by leaps and bounds into a crawling and spunky little boy. The changes that occur in the first year of a child's life has always amazed me -- everything is a "first" and so exciting. With John Michael, we celebrated the typical major milestones, like rolling over, sitting up, his first birthday, his first tooth, crawling, pulling up to his knees... But having a child with Down syndrome, we also celebrated every little step inbetween. John Michael has taught us to slow down and enjoy where he is in his development. Our therapists help us break down the major developmental milestones into smaller chunks which add to the joy as we cheer him on with each new victory. It was very difficult for him to reach up over his head until recently. His music therapy helped in this area greatly and now he responds to, "How big is John Michael? So BIG!" by lifting his arms up over his head. He just began waving back to us and clapping his hands when he gets excited. His comprehension of simple requests and names of certain objects and all his family members is a huge deal for us as well.
We know 2009 will be an even better year as he continues to grow and we continue to grow in our unconditional love of this little guy who has changed so many hearts in so little time. It's truly amazing what God has created. We know He doesn't make mistakes and we are blessed to have John Michael in our family. 2008 was also a HUGE year for our family in terms of meeting many people, some who have a loved one with Down syndrome, who are drawn to John Michael in some way. I know God has called me to advocacy for this little guy and others like him. I'm ready for 2009. Hang on, here we go.................

What's my Purpose?

A friend of mine asked me recently if I knew my purpose in life -- if I knew what I'm here for. I guess I've been called to be many things -- a wife, a mother, a singer, a writer, a friend, an advocate for my baby with Down syndrome.

Last year I turned 40. My plan was to be "Fit at Forty." That was my motto. I went to Weight Watchers to lose those stubborn 10 pounds of baby fat and started working out at the club. Soon after, I became pregnant with my fourth child. My motto was catchy, but I had to put it aside since I'd be 8 months pregnant at my 40th birthday. Oh, well, there's always next year, I thought. John Michael was born on November 14th. He was placed on my chest and quickly turned purple. He was whisked away to the NICU and we received the startling news that, "It looks like John Michael has Down syndrome." I'd avoided prenatal testing. I always said that if they detected any abnormalities, I'd worry too much. Abortion was out of the question and I assumed this baby would be a typical baby just like my first three children.

I think it's hard to know what you're called to do. I know I was called to married life, to motherhood. When I converted to the Catholic faith, my name, Monica, took on a whole new meaning. I learned that St. Monica was the mother to St. Augustine -- a scoundrel of a son whom she prayed for for many years for his conversion. Her perseverance in prayer payed off and he's considered one of the greatest saints and a doctor of the Church. She is fittingly called the patron saint of mothers.

I was also born on the Feast of St. Francis. Coincidence? Probably not. I love spending time in my garden, watching flowers grow and bloom. I love watching birds and squirrels tease my cat and dog in our backyard. I love being in nature, the smell of pine trees, damp woods, or the spray of ocean mist on my face.

This year for my 41st birthday, I will be celebrating something new. The Buddy Walk for Down syndrome awareness is taking place in my city on the same day as my birthday. Coincidence? I don't think so.

I think we can know to some degree what we're called to do, but sometimes God just slowly unfolds our lives like rose buds, one petal at a time. My flower is only half way open. I can look back at my life and recognize my conversion to Catholicism as the fertile soil that would keep me steady, nourish me. My first Holy Communion at Easter Vigil 2002 gave me the water necessary to keep my soil damp and my soul thriving. The Eucharist nourishes and sustains me like fertilizer. The Holy Spirit blew His breath into me at my Confirmation, providing me the air I need to survive. Finally, there's the pruning which is necessary to renew my soul and help me to continue growing healthy and strong.

I don't fully know where I'm headed or what I'm supposed to be doing, but I trust that God has my best interests in mind. I have a strong nudging from the Holy Spirit that I am to be an advocate for John Michael and other families affected by Down syndrome. I'm ready for the journey.