Your dear college friend just had a baby with Down syndrome.
Response (pick one):
A. Wow, I'm glad it's you and not me... God only gives people what they can handle.
B. Congratulations on the birth of your baby. I don't know much about Down syndrome, but I want you to know I'm here for you and would love to know more when you're ready. Is there anything I can do for you? Bring a meal?
C. I'm so sorry. What a tragedy. Didn't you have the [prenatal] test?
D. Your baby doesn't look like he has Down syndrome. Maybe it's just a "mild" form.
Correct answer: (It should be obvious... B, or some version of that) A baby is a baby is a baby is a baby... no matter what! That mom just spent the last 9 (or so) months with that baby and the birth of a baby is to be celebrated first and foremost. Help your friend, as you would any friend, and be supportive. Be a comfort to her and offer to bring a meal or watch the baby while she rests.
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LOL - great post. It drives me crazy some of the things people come up with. I guess they mean well...maybe. Or maybe they just have no tact. But we got lucky - only 2 people said "I'm sorry" about Samantha, one being my best friend who didn't know what else to do when I was bawling my eyes out on the phone to her the day Sammi was born (she has since apologized for saying that, unprompted by me), and one was an older, foreign woman I worked with, who just didn't know any better. She was sweet, though, but I was irritated and told her not to be sorry. Anyway, yeah, ya don't tell new moms your sorry they just had a baby. LOL
ReplyDeleteI had comments A, C and D ALL said to me at Russell's birth. Not one single person said B to us...So when friends of ours found out at the birth of their son that he too had Down syndrome, the first thing Brad and I said was Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
EXACTLY!!! A baby is a gift no matter what. positivity is contagious just as much as negativity.
ReplyDelete